Saturday, December 31, 2011

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Because I work in retail, I don't get Christmas off, because people who work in retail apparently have no family, friends, or religion with which to celebrate that day. But, that's alright, because my family is awesome and we rescheduled our Christmas for New Year's Eve. So it worked out fine!

I have two nephews: Conor, who is 2 and Lucas, who is 7 months. They are the cutest kids ever. EVER. I know, everybody says that about their kids and their little relatives. But seriously, even people who don't like kids think they're friggin adorable. 

So anyway, it took me until about 3 months ago to get Conor to actually start saying my name. He loves to say my husband's name, and loves my brother's name, and even tries to say his name (it usually comes out as "Coco" or "Cocker", depending on how lazy he's feeling that day). Maria isn't much fun to say. I know, because it's not fun to make nicknames for, either. I feel for the kid. To a 2 year old, saying my name is like trying to talk with a mouth full of peanut butter and gum. 

Anyway, so he calls me "his Mia". Which is beyond adorable. Tear inducingly adorable. Today, I was playing with Lucas and decided to lie on my side on the couch so I was at his eye level when he was standing. I suddenly hear Conor scream,


He has a cousin Chelsea. I think somehow he has mixed up fuzzy, curly-haired me with sleek and straight-haired Chelsea. My parents and sister-in-law tell him that I'm not Chelsea, I'm Mia. So then he screams,


I make a face at him and make a game out of shushing him and telling him I'm tired. Which he loves. But I would not respond whenever he'd scream "CHOSEY!" at me, to see if I could get him to remember that I'm "Mia". Well, that didn't work so well, because he kinda gave up and instead shouted,


Well, I give him credit for being creative. Plus, he could call me Kurt and I'd still find him cute. 

Long story short, have a HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE!! And don't drink too much, because alcohol poisoning is only fun for everyone else.

Friday, December 30, 2011

And one more things

Midnight means it is officially tomorrow. Just because you are awake at 12:01 Wednesday, doesn't mean it is still Tuesday night.

You know I'm talking to you, people who return movies at 12:00:32 AM and complain that you returned it on time.

Customer Service is a crappy job...that everyone should have once

Everyone who is friends with me knows how much I detest stupid people who tend to shop wherever I'm working. I love working in jobs where I get to talk to people and make their day a little brighter with my generally upbeat attitude and quirky personality. But, I hate working in those same jobs where people feel entitled to make my life miserable because they can on their day off.

Here are a list of annoying customers you get in every service related job:

1. The Whiner- tends to mope if you cannot achieve what they want. May feel better if you give them a lollipop. No, they aren't children.

"Oh...I really reeeaaally wanted that was just so fun when I played it...but I don't want to order it, it'll take longerrrrrrrr..."

2. The Stare Down- will silently glare at you until you break the silence and give them what they want.

Customer: "............................................."
You: "........................................................................I can take 10% off."

3. The Screamer- seems to feel that they will only get their way if they scream at you, and like your phone alarm,  will get louder and louder each successive time they speak.

"They said back there it they were marked down! I was told they were both marked down!! I have to be at their wedding in 30 minutes!!! I just drove 20 HOURS FROM FLORIDA TO GET THIS PRESENT FROM THEIR REGISTRY!!!!!!!!!"

4. The Ignorant Buffoon- pretends they don't know what you're talking about every single time you explain and re-explain (if that isn't a word, I'm making it one now) yourself  until you get fed up and give them what they want.

Customer: "Why are my late fees $2? It says 2 for $1, and I have my half off. This should be $.50."
You: "It's rent one for $1 and get the second free. But they are each $1. They were both 1 day late, and your half off doesn't count for late fees. You were charged $1 each."
Customer: "But they're $.50 each. That still only makes $1."
You: "No. They are $1 each, but when you rent two, the second is free. They are not discounted $.50 each. And the half off membership doesn't count when movies are returned late. They were each late 1 day, and are $1 each."
Customer: "It should still be $1 since I got the 2nd free."
You: "You don't indefinitely get a free movie for free. When it is returned late, it is charged its original fee, each night or group of nights it is late."
Customer: "I don't get it....."

5. The Heart Harpist- gives a sob story and plays on your heart strings so that you take pity on them. And, yes, give them what they want.

"Oh, my purse was in my car, and my library books were in my purse, and they stole all 5 of them, and I had to call up every credit card company, bank, and the DMV to get things replaced, and that's why the books are 3 months late."

6. The Threat- has the impression that using idle threats will coerce you into letting them have their way.

"Yeah? Well (insert store name here) takes coupons off when I forget them! Maybe I'll just go there instead!!"

7. The Penny Pincher- thinks everything can be bargained down. Is persistent until they get what they want. Like The Threat, will suggest going elsewhere as a last resort to getting their money's worth. Even though, whatever they are buying they could easily live without.

"Oh? This gold plated pen is only marked down $50 from $100? But look at the scratches here, and here. And it was used. I see those are the reasons it was marked down, but nobody else will buy it if I don't. Can't you take another $20 off? Maybe I'll just go get one on Ebay..."

8. The Creep- usually a man who is either really hideous and smelly, or really old, who uses his imaginary charm on young, attractive girls and women to maybe score a date. No good reason for them.

Example: (I'm not kidding, this really happened to me)
*Elderly customer buying a shower head* "I wish I could take a shower with you using this. Pretty girl like you, though, I guess that's beyond even my wildest dreams, huh....?"

I feel like if half of these people worked one job in their lives in the service of people just like themselves, maybe they'd have a better perspective on how they act when they are shopping. I am a much better person and customer when I go shopping, because I am on the opposite side of the counter every day I work.

Though, nothing can be said for those creeps. They probably shouldn't work around people. Ever.