Thursday, April 26, 2012

puts 'My Husband Is Programming Me'

This one goes out to everybody who knows anything about computer programming.

For the last few weeks, my husband has been reading up on Ruby (a programming language much like Java, but WAY WAY easier) to start a career as a Programmer. I fully support this decision, because he loves computers, and told me about how much he enjoyed his Website Design class in school and how he wanted to go to school for computers initially.

However, one of the quirks about Dave learning something new, or doing something new, is I wind up learning it/doing it with him. Zelda...I'm going through all of them now. Guitar...yep, I'm now doing that, too.

And, of course, programming.

Now, don't think this is me complaining "OH MY GOD, MY HUSBAND WANTS ME TO BE INTERESTED IN THE THINGS HE'S DOING. HOW HORRIBLE!" No, actually I think it's awesome that he's so excited about new things he enjoys that he wants me to share in his personal glee. Believe it or not, he hit the nail on the head with this one. I'm super detail-oriented, and like order and love typing. So, when he kept telling me every day for the last few weeks, "Wife, I really think you should read this programming book. I honestly think you'll like it," I figured it would be easier to just go ahead and start it just to shut him up.

And then I discovered the joy of programming.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of Ruby and Command Prompt,                   watcharakun
I will fear no DEL/ code.

Here is why I have decided that programming is something I could totally do in my spare time.

Now I know why you programmers giggle so much.


Friday, April 20, 2012

The Burp from Dinners Past

Sometimes, you eat a meal that is so delicious that all you want to do is eat it again, and again, and again forever. Unfortunately for anatomical reasons, you obviously cannot continue to eat indefinitely because you'll eat yourself sick. Unless, like in Hunger Games, you choose to drink a drink that will purge your stomach and then you can keep eating and eating.

This is where burps come into play. I love when I eat a delicious steak, or taco, or SUPER BOWL CHILI (thanks Mom) and I get to revisit the deliciousness later when, inevitably, I burp. Mmmmm. Say what you will, but you KNOW you love the Rebound Burp. Like all rebounds, it's a way to satisfy your needs without having to worry about the commitment. Because, really, you're going to move on to another meal  with better burps.

Don't judge. You sniff your burps in your hand, too.            Hal Brindley

Yet, there are those horrible meals you eat (particularly fishy fish, bad meatballs, or cabbage) that, no matter how much you want to forget them, they just come back to haunt you. Via burps. Much like a stalker, it just keeps coming back until you sign a restraining order (or just eat a Tums).

Applebee's, I used to love your ribs. Because the burps tasted of delicious, delicious Applebee's BBQ sauce. But, alas, your sauce has since become runny, and now all I taste is so-so rib meat burps. 3 hours later.

Where do you go.....

My riblets.....

Where do you go...?

I wanna know :-(           Ambro

Saturday, April 14, 2012

There Are Elves Among Us

It's been a while since I've posted. I could say it was personal stuff, but honestly I'm just lazy and lost interest. I'm not cut out to be a full-time blogger.

Anyway, so I hate people sometimes. Why I choose to work in an industry that forces me to interact with lots of different people is beyond me. Well, I'll be honest, I don't really WANT to choose it, but because apparently the skills I've learned through retail don't apply to careers, I am forced to choose retail over and over because my resume reflects only retail experience.

I also hate hiring managers that overlook retail experience as not being "work-related experience".

Moving on. There is a disc cleaner in our store. It takes care of light surface scratches and fingerprints. It literally scratches the disc more, and then buffs it shiny. When your disc is scratched, the light sensor in  your player jumps and skips over them, kinda like if you were running and there were huge cracks in the ground that you had to leap over. The machine scratches the disc all over, and then buffs it smooth. So, like if the asphalt crew came in, ground up the cracks in the road and made it even (no new asphalt). There is a machine that resurfaces discs (puts new asphalt down, if you will). But that takes longer than just the buffing machine. And we don't have that.

I wish we didn't have this sometimes.

So, needless to say, it's not a GOOD THING to put shiny, clean discs into the cleaner. I refuse to. There's an old guy who looks like a Keebler elf who comes into our store to rent movies. He demands we clean all his discs. But the one looked fine on the bottom. No scratches. I rotated in all sorts of directions in the light to make sure. SO OF COURSE HE COMES BACK THE NEXT DAY. Says that he told "that girl" (me) to clean the disc and I refused and said it was fine. My manager looked at it, said it looked fine, and we try to not over clean discs because it's not good for them. But the guy said, "I AM A CUSTOMER AND I SAID TO DO IT AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WHAT I SAY."

So he demanded his money back (which we never do), and we gave him his money back (to shut him the hell up).

I hate people. This guy was a shrimp, old, with huge buggy glasses and looked and sounded like he probably sat at home with dirty movies by himself because nobody else wants go to his tree and hang out with the other elves. Despite all the delicious cookies he probably makes.

"GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK, YOU WHORE!"             Keebler

Also, go check out my jewelry, because it's awesome and goes great with clothes, and skin, and all sorts of delightful bodily things!