I Hate You: A Heartfelt Letter

 Dear Sir Who Pounded on My Customer Service Desk to Get My Attention,

I hate you. Not the regular kind of hate. A special kind of hate just for you, because you're a special kind of guy.

Rather than politely waiting for me to walk up from one of my many time consuming projects (because working customer service in retail means you do everything on top of working customer service), you decided to pound on the desk loudly and shout for the store to hear, "HELLOOO?!?!??? I'M WAITING TO SHOP!!" You weren't standing there unattended for long.

Of course, you couldn't have known that I just looked up a moment ago and you weren't there. You also couldn't know that shouting like that made you sound like a petulant 4 year old. You certainly couldn't know that, after being summoned like a servant, and then scolded with, "IT'S ALMOST BLACK FRIDAY. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING PEOPLE??!" that I wouldn't want to help you at all. I bet it didn't even occur to you that being that rude would make you look like the asshole in this situation and not me. I'm sorry you looked like a douche.

It's really too bad you didn't have a bell to ding. It would have relieved you of the stress of standing alone for 5 seconds. I bet you're a champ. You're a go getter. You shout for help like a mugger has stolen your purse and you just don't know how to go on.

I promise in the future to never look away from the front in case you happen to walk in and need immediate attention. My 8 hour day dealing with returns, complaints, and a constant barrage of stupid questions and requests from both my coworkers, managers, and customers is incomplete without your 2 cents.

Thank you for showing me what an inconsiderate and unhelpful employee I am because I happened to not see you and didn't rush to your side like a hero.

Sincerely,

Me, the Customer Service Person Who Hates You



Below: How Christmas Looks to Me Working In Retail

EXCUSE ME I HAVE A MILLION QUESTIONS TO ASK YOU AND A LOT OF STORIES TO GO ALONG WITH THEM IN FULL DETAIL. ALSO, WHEN DO YOU OPEN BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO THE INTERNET.

I NEEDED HELP GETTING ONE THING DOWN!! YOU PROMISED TO SEND SOMEONE OVER! I WAITED FOR 5 SECONDS AND NOBODY CAME!!

THESE FLOWERS ARE ORANGE RED!!! I ASKED FOR RED ORANGE!!!

WHERE ARE THE MINI PIE PANS???!!!! THEY WERE IN THE FLYER SO YOU MUST HAVE THEM EVEN THOUGH THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE GOT THE FLYER!!!!