Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I See Dead People...

Sometimes when I'm sleeping, I have night terrors. What are these, you might wonder?

I'm too lazy to explain the whole thing, so here's a link to what it is in its entirety. Basically, I wake up screaming thinking I've seen something (almost always spiders). I'm still sorta asleep, and I always vaguely remember it when I wake up the next day.

Also, apparently it's a thing mostly for kids. Which makes it even sadder that I'm afflicted with it. I think this means I've never quite grown up.

My poor husband has dealt with this since we started dating. I'd be snuggled next to him, sleeping peacefully, and then I would think I'd see a spider crawling up my arm, up the pillow, down the wall, and I'd start to quietly scream and quick turn on the lights to find the damn thing. If it wasn't for him, I probably would never get back to sleep, because he always reassures me that there is and never was any spider. Then I go back to sleep.

Well, recently, I had a nasty stress headache due to the fact that I might become a store manager. Now now, as angry as I get about customers, believe it or not, I'm great at my job and people almost always leave happy. I just have lots of internal malcontent and disbelief at the way people act when they aren't working. It's appalling. I'm NICER than usual when shopping.

Anyway, I have NO IDEA why, instead of a spider, I saw half of an eggshell on my knee, but I did. And for some reason, it falling off of my knee and landing on the bed freaked me out. So Dave comes running in (because he heard my usual "aaaaAAAAAaaAAAAAH!" that happens when I'm about to wake up in a panic), and asked what was wrong. With all the sensibility of one who is asleep, I say:

Me: "There was a half shell on my knee."
Dave: "A half shell?"
Me: "Yes, and it fell off. Is it on the bed?"
Dave: "No."
Me: "Is it on the floor?"
Dave: "No."
Me: "Oh. Ok."

I fell back asleep and don't remember anything else, but apparently that wasn't the end. My husband said one last thing:

Dave: "Heroes in a half shell..."
Me: "Turtle power."

Only my better half would take advantage of my unconscious state at such an opportune moment.

Plus, I totally do that to him when he talks in his sleep. You should try it sometime.

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