Wednesday, February 8, 2012

War of 2012 (A.K.A. My Body Is Attacking Me)

One of the things I miss most about college are drinking games. Like Kings. That game was awesome. Especially the one "Never Have I Ever". You'd say something ridiculous that nobody would do (or to be an asshole, say something you KNOW somebody did to call them out....never did that....) and then whoever drinks, did it.

How I think I look playing Kings.              Photostock

How I actually look playing Kings.                           Dundee Photographics

Well, this post isn't about drinking, but it was a nice segue into the real topic:

Never have I ever felt so achy that my butt hurt when I farted.

Here is where I take a drink. Because that totally happened today. I don't really care if anyone thinks that's a TMI because I don't really expect anybody to be reading my blog (but I see some of you out there are, so thanks and I'm retroactively sorry you have to experience this with me!)

I woke up feeling so achy I wanted to cry. It's that kind of ache before you actually get sick where it feels like your nerves are carrying out a plot to escape your body from every possible and inconceivable part of it. You could be standing and your heels ache, so you sit down and your butt aches. I don't even feel sick, but my body has decided that was unacceptable behavior for winter.

Go kill yourself, nerves.

Oh wait, no, don't do that. I like the feeling of grass between my toes. Damn!

Anyway, I have added more neat jewelry to my Etsy site, and somebody just bought a necklace. Somebody I don't even know! And I'd like to think it's related to me posting it on my blog, and somebody didn't want me to end up in a crack house. So, with that in mind, support my proactive decision to not need to go to rehab and buy my shit!

Buy it for when you want to feel royal. Or the queen is coming.

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